Kubyara ni nko guhabwa umurima, ariko kurera ni nko kubiba imbuto muri wa murima. Iyo uhawe umurima ntuwubibemo imbuto ushaka hameramo izibonetse zose; kandi mu gihe cy’isarura ntusaruramo izo ushaka ahubwo usaruramo izimijejemo waba uzishaka cyangwa utazishaka.
Muri iki gihe, iyo ukurikiranye imvugo z’ababyeyi bamwe bakubwira ko abana babananiye, bababwira ntibumve, babarihiye amashuri ariko bakaba ntacyo babamariye n’ibindi
Ku rundi ruhande twumva hirya no hino abana bicwa n’ababyeyi babo, ababasambanya ku gahato, ababiba imitungo n’ibindi bibabaje bigaragaza icyuho gikomeye mu burere butangirwa mu muryango.
Igihurirwaho na benshi mu babyeyi ni uko abana bafite imyitwarire idahwitse, byagera ku rubyiruko ho bikaba akarusho kuko usanga baragizwe ab’ubu, ikigero cy’abananiranye n’ibindi.
Abakiri bato na bo bashinja ababyeyi gushaka kubagumisha mu by’ahashize kandi na bo bakeneye kujyana n’ibigezweho.
Aha ni ho abenshi bibaza bati 'hagati y’umubyeyi n’umwana ni nde wananiye undi?’
Mu gihe ababyeyi bashinja abana cyane urubyiruko kubananira no kugaragaza imyitwarire itari myiza ni nako urubyiruko narwo rushinja ababyeyi kutita ku nshingano zabo uko bikwiye harimo kutabagira inama no kutababonera umwanya ngo babaganirize ndetse babatoze inzira iboneye bakwiye gucamo.
Uko ababyeyi n’abana bitana ba mwana mu burere bwabo, niko ababyeyi barushaho kugaragaza ko muri iki gihe imibereho igenda igorana, ariyo mpamvu nyamukuru ituma batabona umwanya wo kuganira no kubaha uburere bukwiye buzababera akabando k’iminsi.
Mu burere bw’abana bikwiye kugenda gute?, kubyara ni kimwe no kurera ni ikindi; iyo ushaka kuzasarura urukundo mu mwana urumubibabo, iyo ushaka kuzitabwaho mu zabukuru na we umwana wawe umwitaho akiri muto. Iyo ushaka kuzategwa amatwi, bigusaba kumwumva, niba ushaka kandi ko azajya agusura, gerageza umusure igihe ari kure yawe, yagiye mu masomo n’ibindi.
Ibice by’ingenzi umubyeyi akwiye kunyuzamo umwana amutegurira kuzavamo umuntu w’ingirakamaro.
Bibiliya itanga umurongo ugororotse ku burere bukwiye guhabwa umwana, nkuko biboneka muri Luka 2:52 handitse hati 'Yesu akomeza kugwiza ubwenge, abyiruka ashimwa n’Imana n’abantu.”
Iki gitabo gitagatifu kiduha icyitegererezo cy’uburyo umwana warezwe neza akura mu bice bine aribyo,: Igihagararo, ubwenge, mu busabane bwe n’Imana no mu mibanire ye myiza n’abantu.
Kugira ngo umwana akure muri ibi bice ni iby’ingenzi cyane ku mubyeyi kumenya icyo akeneye guhabwa, mu gihe runaka n’uburyo bwo kukimuha. Ubundi ibyo umubyeyi asarura mu mwana, agomba kubibiba mu gihe cy’imyaka 18 ni ukuvuga guhera mu mezi atatu ari munda ya nyina kugeza ku myaka 18 y’ubukure.
Umwana uri mu kigero cy’imyaka 0-5, akeneye ko umubyeyi we amukunda, amwereka ko amwishimiye, amuhobera akamuterura akamushyira mu gituza, akamusoma, akamusekera. Akamuha igihe gihagije cyo gukina na we, akamugaburira, kandi akamuhanga amaso akamwereka ko amwitayeho mu gihe amugaburira, baganira cyangwa bakina.
Umwana uri mu kigero cy’imyaka 6-9, akenera ko umubyeyi we amuha igihe gihagije cyo kumutega amatwi akamwumva kandi bakaganira, igihe cyo gukina udukino dusekeje n’ibindi. Ni igihe umwana abaza ibibazo byinshi anakeneye ibisubizo by’ukuri biturutse ku mubyeyi we.
Mu byo umwana aba akeneye harimo ko umubyeyi aha agaciro ibibazo bye kandi akabisubiza atinubye cyangwa atamubwiye ko ibyo ari kumubaza ari ubusa cyangwa ko nta gaciro bifite. Iki ni igihe umwana aba ashaka kugira uruhare mu mirimo runaka, aba akeneye ko atabuzwa gukora ahubwo asobanurirwa uko ibintu bikorwa, ntaba ashaka ko umubwira ko ibyo bintu atabishoboye, aba akeneye gushimwa no kubwirwa ko yabikoze neza, akabona gukosorwa no kubwirwa uko azabikora neza ubutaha.
Umwana uri mu kigero cy’imyaka 10-12, akenera ko umubyeyi we: amushyigikira kandi akamwerekera uko ibintu bikorwa, yemerwa kandi agashishikarizwa gukomeza gukora kuko ibyo atashoboye none azabishobora ubutaha. Kumusobanurira impamvu z’amabwiriza n’amategeko umuha, n’impamvu yibyo umusaba gukora n’ibyo umubuza gukora ni ingenzi cyane kuko umwana agomba kumva neza mbere yo gushyira mu bikorwa. Impamvu y’ibi ni uko iyo atumvise neza impamvu y’ibyo umusaba gukora cyangwa kudakora, abyubahiriza iyo muri kumwe gusa ariko iyo mutari kumwe arabikora.
Akeneye kandi gutangira guhabwa inshingano no gusobanurirwa uko zishyirwa mu bikorwa no kubazwa impamvu igihe cyose atasohoje inshingano yahawe.
Umwana uri mu kigero cy’imyaka 13-18, akeneye ko umubyeyi we: amuha umwanya wo gutanga ibitekerezo no kujya impaka ku byo amusaba gushyira mu bikorwa, gutozwa no kwerekwa icyerekezo gikwiye mu gufata icyemezo cy’ibigiye gukorwa. Umwana uri muri iki kigero ntabwo akunda ko umubyeyi amushyiraho amategeko, ahubwo aba akeneye kubazwa icyo atekereza kubyo asabwa gukora, aba akeneye imirongo migari y’ibyo agomba gukora kuruta guhabwa amabwiriza kuri buri kantu, aba akeneye kubahwa no guhabwa ubwigenge. Aba akeneye ubucuti hagati ye n’umubyeyi we.
Hari ababyeyi bashyigikira umugambi mubisha wo kwica ahazaza h’abana babo
Nubwo ababyeyi bavuga ko bashakira abana babo imibereho myiza, usanga icyo bita imibereho ari nacyo kiba urupfu rw’abana babo kuko ikinyoma gikomeye Satani yabeshye ababyeyi, ni uko nta mwanya uhari wo kwita ku mwana ngo atozwe inzira akwiye kunyuramo.
Ku bw’ibyo Satani yashoboye kwemeza ababyeyi ko bakwiye gushaka ibitunga umubiri w’abana babo na we akita ku buzima bwabo bwa mwuka n’amarangamutima! Niyo mpamvu usanga ababyeyi bahugiye mu gushaka ibyo kurya ariko ntibamenye uburyo abana babiriye, amafaranga yo kwishyura ishuri ariko ntibamenye ibyo biga, kugura za televiziyo n’amafatabuguzi ku mashene atandukanye ariko ntibamenye ibyo abana babo bareberaho. Ibi rero biha Satani ububasha bwo kurera abana bacu kandi aritwe tumutera inkunga.
Iyo ubyaye nturere ntiwororoka, urinda uva ku Isi umutima wawe udahaze ibyiza.
“Umuntu ubyaye abana ijana akarama imyaka myinshi, iminsi yo kubaho kwe ikagwira ariko umutima we ntuhage ibyiza, akabura n’aho ahambwa, ndavuga yuko bene uwo arutwa n’inda yavuyemo.' (Umubwiriza 6:3)
Biratangaje kubona umuntu wabyaye abana benshi kandi mu bigaragara babayeho neza ariko ugasanga ntibibuka umubyeyi, abeshejweho no gusabiririza, ntibaterwa isoni n’uko umubyeyi wabo ari mu cyiciro cyambere cy’ubudehe, ndetse yapfa akabura gihamba nk’uko ijambo ry’Imana ryabivuze mu Umubwiriza 6:3. Ikibazo nyamukuru uyu mubyeyi aba afite aba yarabyaye ariko ntarere. Iyo ubyabye nturere ntiwororoka kandi upfa umutima wawe adahaze ibyiza!
Ababyeyi benshi batekereza ko kuba bagaburiye umwana, bamurihiye amashuri, bamwambitse, baguze ibikoresho by’imyidagaduro: televiziyo, mudasobwa, telefoni n’ibindi binezeza umwana bihagije mu burere bwe.
Ni ha handi bigera n’aho umwana atitwara neza cyangwa amunaniye akamwibutsa ati 'Mwana wanjye ni iki ntagukoreye? Ntiwishwe n’inzara, narakwambitse nakurihiye amashuri n’ibindi.'
Nubwo gukora ibi ari iby’ingenzi ariko ntibihagije ngo umwana azavemo umuntu w’ingirakamaro. Ibi byose ni nk’ifumbire ishyirwa mu murima kugira ngo imbuto yabibwemo izere neza, ariko ntacyo byamara mu gihe ya mbuto nta yirimo.
Birakwiye ko ababyeyi basobanukirwa ko inshingano ikomeye Imana yaduhaye kuri iy’Isi ni ukororoka, bivuze: kubyara no kurera. Kandi tugasobanukirwa ko utarezwe n’uwamubyaye arerwa n’Isi kandi yo ntibyara, ni nayo mpamvu itazi no kurera.
Ni byiza ko ababyeyi basobanukirwa ko ibyo bari kubiba uyu munsi mu bana babo, aribyo bazabasaruramo ejo hazaza kandi burya ngo ‘Uburere buruta ubuvuke’, kandi burya imvugo ikwiye ku mubyeyi ni iyi 'Ndinda mwana wanjye, narakureze, kuruta ndinda mwana wanjye narakubyaye.'
Amakosa yose umwana yakora ni ibisanzwe kuko muri kamere ya muntu amakosa abamo kandi abantu barayavukana. Ariko haba hakenewe uburere butanzwe n’umubyeyi kandi mu rukundo kugira ngo ubwo bupfapfa umwana avukana burangire.
Babyeyi, burya inama ziherekejwe n’ubugwaneza n’urukundo ni byo shingiro ry’uburere bukwiye umubyeyi akwiye guha umwana, uzamubera akabando k’iminsi.
Babyeyi bagenzi banjye, nimuze turerere u Rwanda rurangwa n’indangagaciro, rukaziririza kirazira.
Iyi nyandiko ishingiye ku mpuguro ni ibitekerezo bwite bw’umwanditsi, Urinzwenimana Mike.
Source: Igihe.com
Reba hano n’izi nyigisho: Kurinda ubusabane mu muryango by Pastor Desire Habyarimana
Menya ibitera amakimbirane mu muryango n’uburyo wabyirinda
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